24 Revolutions

24 Years…
It’s still sinking in.
I have survived 24 revolutions
Around the giant glowing orb in the sky.

How the fuck?

I still remember being 16;
Awkward as fuck,
Terrified of everything;
Perfectly comfortable
Living under the rock
Where I had been raised
Thank you very much.

None of that adventure stuff.
Not me,
No how.

But somehow…
Here I am.
Moved across the country at 19,
Survived sexual assault,
Abusive relationships,
Betrayal from people I had considered
My closest friends or family,
Fucking hipsters.

Despite it all,
I’ve made it.

Every point where I thought
I couldn’t take it anymore,
Couldn’t tolerate any more pain,
Revelations about how the world works….

I survived.

It’s the biggest miracle
And the best gift I could have ever asked for.

None of it was easy…
It still isn’t.

On a daily basis I can’t decide if I
Want to make a new friend,
Maybe get a Boyfriend…
Or maybe just start a Cat Sanctuary
And let the 50 year old Hermit that
Lives deep inside me have his way finally.

That dream of running away
To the foothills of Ireland
Where no one can find me…
It’s still a consideration…
And Hermit me would LOVE it.

But for now that dream
Is a different me
For a different day.
Because in just 2 days
I will begin the next chapter.

Another chapter where I will survive;
Where I will prove to the world that
I can make it,
I can choose my own path,
And no matter what it throws at me…
I will thrive.

So Happy Birthday to me…
It’s been one hell of a ride these
Last 24 years….
And it’s far from over.

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